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Poker Night “Two pair, ace high. What have you got?”Poker Night by ~Em-Kun
“Well, Chris, since you must know, I happen to have in my possession a very valuable set of aces. If you will direct your attention to the table, I believe you will see that this brings me to a total of four aces. I believe the term is: 'read 'em and weep.'”
“Dammit!”
Chris threw his cards across the room.
“Aren't you glad we don't play for money?” I asked as I gathered up the cards and took my hard-earned candy.
“Whatever,” replied Chris as he pulled out two cigarettes and lit them both, inhaling deeply.
“Dude!”
“What?”
The Party I first met Chris at the tail end of junior year. I had crashed an open house party and was feeling pretty cool as I choked down a quarter of a beer out of one of those infamous red cups. Unfortunately, as the night wore on, I got a little full of myself and started hitting on the wrong girls. I thought things were going pretty well until their boyfriends showed up and decided that I needed to be put in my place.The Party by ~Em-Kun
I tried to keep my cool and acted like it was no big deal as they pushed me out to the front yard. I had never been in a fight before and wasn't sure if I wanted my first one to be with a couple of lacrosse jocks. That's when I met
Chris So this seal walks into a club…Chris by ~Em-Kun
That’s Chris’s idea of a pickup line. He isn’t actually trying to close with it, however. It’s just the beginning of his master plan. The formula works like this: Open with a shocking or otherwise off-colour statement or joke, discuss what you’ve just blown her away with, and finally, after five short minutes of discussion, kiss the girl. Chris calls it the Apocalypse Opener.
I’ve never been forward enough to try it. I’ve never been forward enough to try any of the things that Chris does. Of course, it never fails and before the night is through, Chris will
W.W.J.D “What happened?”W.W.J.D by ~Em-Kun
“It’s complicated.”
“How so, complicated?”
“Like, don’t-accidentally-kill-yourself-and-create-a-time-paradox complicated.”
“Yes, let’s not do that. What are you here for, anyway?”
“If I knew that, I’d be accomplishing my task right now.”
“What do you know, then?”
“Well, one minute I’m walking down the sidewalk back home and then… I dunno. I ran into you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’m telling me… You know, the weird thing is, I don’t remember any of this.”
“
Paper Buddha by ~moranoxThe guy code 1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.The guy code by ~toxiccomando
2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% w
Sta.sh
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"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Poe
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Requiescat en pace.
--
"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Poe
--
Requiescat en pace.
--
"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Poe
--
Requiescat en pace.
I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO!
--
"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Poe
--
Nothing but happiness ~
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--
Requiescat en pace.
--
Nothing but happiness ~
Feed the animals! Click to donate free food
Sick of [link]'s? Check out FAQ #81: How can I make links to other deviants, deviations, or websites?